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Try Harder

by Mayor Wertz

supported by
Mag1Dwight
Mag1Dwight thumbnail
Mag1Dwight Just over all a great song. Beat was nice and bumpy and lyrics were clever. Favorite track: Mild Life Crisis.
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1.
Welcome one and all to this orientation There will be many explanations during this presentation Future reference you can call me Mayor Wertz and by the end of this, I'll be the center of your universe Start off by saying, you've come to the right place Nothing for me to hide, so I'll cut to the chase When you don't like me, you don't know what you're missing Keeping an eye on you, I'm the next snake Pliskin Listen, calculated risk, but I'm bad at math That feeling when you learn you're getting time and a half My words highly choreographed, better than gene kelly With ideas opposite of Machiavelli Like petting the belly of a cat, I'm a gamble At best, these rhymes sound like a put together ramble Scrambling to find someone to be my competition Just scrolling by them Terms and conditions I'm your new Mayor YEAH I'm your new Mayor Whether you like it or not I'm your new Mayor I'm your new Mayor YEAH I'm your new Mayor Just so you're aware, I'm not going anywhere Tasting so good like a free appetizer Knowing where to put these thoughts, expert organizer The Mayor will change lives of many with none the wiser Not covering up something like a well-placed visor Gaining immortality and then shed my mortal coil I'm tender like a perfectly cooked London broil No snake oil here, only all my great qualities Follow me on a journey of all my philosophies If the prophecies are correct, There's a lot to expect When it comes to the man who's often circumspect With explosion sound effects for his personality He uses that stud muffin charm as a formality Rationality behind it? No way to justify But the Mayor is a 3AM pizza personified If you don't understand this, then that's your burden Just don't beat yourself up over it, Tyler Durden I'm your new Mayor YEAH I'm your new Mayor Whether you like it or not I'm your new Mayor I'm your new Mayor YEAH I'm your new Mayor Just so your aware I'm not going anywhere Like Drunk Amazon Shopping, I'm quite the surprise It makes sense, no need to overanalyze Just recognize that there is no sense of malice The Mayor is a sight to behold, Aurora Borealis I'm trying to balance all my life's aspirations Like taking a hostage, there are no negotiations Becoming my friend would be a force majeure Make sure you get the name right though Hors-d'oeuvres A real raconteur with the nomenclature Using a microphone to say words he wrote on paper Only the bravest of audiences will be rewarded Otherwise, my plans for you will have been thwarted Everything turned out well no need for revisions This track steered you into the correct decision Now I hope this clears up any and all confusion Once again I'm Mayor Wertz, and that was my conclusion!
2.
First things first, Big Bang Theory is canceled Also banning any kind of combo of socks and sandals No more wearing sports jerseys if you're over twelve When you get a drink here it's only from the top shelves All restaurants and bars have chicken wing specials Every weekend there is a comedy and music festival Shopping locally will be important to our economy Free parking everywhere anytime that's a new policy As you can see, chin straps are eliminated Shooting vertical video? Your phone is being confiscated Highly rated schools, everyone getting educated Guess what? School Loans just got evaporated If you convince both parents get maternity leave Best believe you'll always have time off to grieve Every one of your dreams will come true for the right price All you gotta do is just a little human sacrifice You will grow in this city You will thrive in this city You will flourish in this city You will shine in this city Grow. Thrive. Flourish. Shine. Grow. Thrive. Flourish. Shine. Look, I know what you're thinking. This is unbelievable But with the right kind of people, this is achievable You're well aware that it's all for the greater good This city is for everybody and they all understood What has to be done to make this a perfect community My residents are happy just for the opportunity You know to be Honest, this is the way we strive But that means that others don't always get to survive But let's move on, health insurance is free! And every room is a comfortable sixty-eight degrees So please looking further into residency Low rent and All places are decorated elegantly No waiting to get a table at any restaurant Also, I have personally banned the comic sans font It's an absolute paradise and not a bit of hyperbole Just bring someone you know, they're your entrance fee. You will grow in this city You will thrive in this city You will flourish in this city You will shine in this city Grow. Thrive. Flourish. Shine. Grow. Thrive. Flourish. Shine.
3.
Forget your bills, forget your job Forget your debt, forget your flaws It's a 20 something party It's a 20 something Party forget your past, forget your goals forget your carbs, forget your woes It's a 20 something party It's a 20 something Party Had a long week now I'm getting psyched The Guests are here on time, party tonight! Hope they're hungry, I put out a nice spread Gotta make sure my friends are well fed Crock Pots got that buffalo chicken dip Salsa ready for all of those tortilla chips Friends bring their own beer and snacks Loading up the cooler with the craft beer six packs 90s playlist keeps this party alive DDs on hand no ones gonna drink and drive No talking about your boss, just drunk Jenga This is a fantastic fiesta Everyone putting bottles in the recycling When we do shots our bonds are tightening Sharing science, spirits, stories Hope I can still do this when I'm hitting forty Forget your bills, forget your job Forget your debt, forget your flaws It's a 20 something party It's a 20 something Party forget your past, forget your goals forget your carbs, forget your woes It's a 20 something party It's a 20 something Party All of the guests start to part ways They have errands to finish on Sunday Ate a lot of pizza, dumb carbohydrates I know I'm going to regret this mistake Got guests that are too drunk to drive Blankets, pillows, and water to survive Get into my bed and under the covers It's gonna take the whole day just to recover Woke up regretting all of my decisions like when I took shots got double vision Gonna nurse this hangover Take several showers, keep my composure Last night we forgot about our troubles For just a few hours forgot about our struggles We should do this every weekend I know some friends that would love to attend
4.
I sat in the room where we use to inhabit Learning, loving, expanding our possibilities The wall had marks from where your dyed hair laid Understanding your decision... well trying my best Alcohol graced my lips, making you laugh with confidence Who knew holding your hand would lead to such consequence Things moved quickly, and I was loving the attention Feeling self-worth within all of your affection Performers in our own way, Fed off the creativity Who knew your envy would be at the top of your abilities Supporting one another was rough, viewing me as competition Never once did you refer to me as a fellow musician Jealousy played a pivotal role in our contention Under that lived a solid layer of distrust as foundation Looked the opposite direction when red flags appeared Not having someone love me is something that I feared You told me to write it all down You told me it would release me You told me everything would be okay You told me I was perfect Valentines Day started lovely then turned into a disaster Things escalated quickly and then even faster Once again the drinks helped fuel our arguments You locked the bathroom and began to hurt yourself I begged for you to get help, you said you were alright So scared at any moment just to let you out of my sight You were fighting depression and I didn't know how to help I hated myself for not being able to help When your band practice ended, our final fight began Not holding back, very vocal about how you really felt Telling me I lacked empathy and I was a hack writer Even more so a pussy, very much so a whiner You broke it off, saying it was unfair to drag me along Depressed and suicidal, you said it was best to move on Following your instructions, ripping off the bandage Applying the disinfectant, covering up the damage You told me to write it all down You told me it would release me You told me it would make me feel better You told me I was perfect The story doesn't end there, You couldn't leave me alone Three A M emails, contacting my friends through facebook or phone You sent flowers to my new place to try to get my attention Retweeting me daily, showing up in my mentions It wasn't romantic at the least, it just got tiring Trying to dodge you, trying to hard reset my wiring Failed attempts at getting me to have a conversation After all that happened, it's time to reevaluate your calculations Remember that you left me, then acted like a martyr Attempting to save myself when life got harder projecting the problems onto me like I was the silver screen our alcohol-induced lifestyle slowly became routine Which made me think this is the way I should be treated Yearning for your approval could be described as self-defeated A conceited fool, couldn't comprehend the consequences Destroying myself for someone's love is the hardest lesson
5.
Starting the day off right with a couple shower beers Called off work but no vacation days till next year I fear the overdraft fees, but I'm feeling self-righteous Gotta get a handle on my Midlife Crisis I know what you're saying, "You're only in your Twenties" You'll have plenty of years before you truly feel empty But why should I wait to spend every last bit of my savings Who knows when that day will come there's no sense in waiting. Because being rich in spirit doesn't help me get a tattoo can't even settle on what to choose so it's a lose-lose And I refuse to let my situation dictate my schedule Absolutely hitting up happy hour today is influential Take note I'm a luminary for future generations! Feeling extraordinary with no budgetary considerations No More obligations that's the end of discussion! And don't you dare worry about the repercussions. Eat that food Spend that cash Have that drink cause you're probably gonna die soon. Probably gonna die soon Probably gonna die soon Mid Life Crisis Probably gonna die soon. Let's Start by Embodying the Sunday Funday mentality! We're trying to deal with our ever fleeting mortality! It's for the best that you no longer fear death We're making the most of it before your last breath You should treat yourself and drop all the courtesies Time to get your head straight for unlimited possibilities Now I've got some ideas so finish your breakfast Crush those concerns Start off straight Reckless Make your Friends jealous, Order an expensive meal Dine and Ditch, bouncing in a car that you'll steal Roll out of the whip once you hit some crazy velocity Take a tumble, now you peaked the local news curiosity Get those cameras on your gorgeous persistence No time to think about your fleeting existence Before we depart, remember what you've been taught Make the most of this, while you hijack your new yacht Eat that food Spend that cash Have that drink cause you're probably gonna die soon. Probably gonna die soon Probably gonna die soon Mid-Life Crisis Probably gonna die soon. Came for a good time, not a long time. Came for a good time, not a long time. Came for a good time, not a long time. Came for a good time, not a long time. Eat that food Spend that cash Have that drink cause you're probably gonna die soon. Probably gonna die soon Probably gonna die soon Mid-Life Crisis Probably gonna die soon.
6.
Wing Night 02:32
Have you heard the news? It's Wing Night! You got plans Later? It's Wing Night! Weekday specials, tons of deals Add some beers, that's a steal Baked, grilled, Smoked, and Deep Fried Tables looking like a chicken genocide Fan of dry rub, but love the sauce Chicken stuck in my teeth, yo get the floss Smell the Deep fried golden good good Dine in only? That's understood So much sauce all over my fingers Got a buffalo with a taste that lingers Starting to feel it burning in my chest How are all these wings gonna digest? Bad habit of ignoring the warnings Going to feel this in the morning When I'm ordering wings, don't stop me Always down for hot garlic or teriyaki Not snobby, I'll destroy some classics And all that remains fill up the baskets Never go wrong with a pepper blend Trading flavors with my closest friends Bayou Cajun is always a win-win BBQ goes great with crispy skin Lemon pepper as a palette cleanser Licking our fingers, no napkin dispenser Signing release forms and waivers Whenever I get stupid hot wing flavors Suicides bad, don't get scared though Loving every bite of these Mango habaneros Crime scene when I get some Parmesan Conquered them all, Wing night Genghis Khan
7.
Good Parents, Good Job, Good situation Thesis read and now I require good sedation Broken hinges turn into constant stagnation Fog of desperation leads to lack of destination Several stipulations, Nothing is ever effortless Decisions at the end expected to be treacherous Trying different routes/ideas, doubtfully sensible Building a fortress that's beyond defensible All this interior is nothing more than filler Halt monochromatic relapse feels so familiar Altered state of understanding results poorly Holding onto a concept of what I hold dearly Too early to tell if this is worth the energy Finding alternate ways, getting stopped cleverly Charismatic dangling carrots seem like distant isles Pragmatic ideals make a lesser Kyle. It's inside you, but it is inside me? Speaking like savages, losing steam No idea where I am or who I should be My interests evolve into faulty floorboards Cracks become roadblocks, areas unexplored Ignoring swift strikes to the ego's abdomen Trouble finding what it means to be a better human Trusting in myself that I can be a better human Comparing cliche talking points without reserve Knowing full well what I want is not what I deserve The nerve engulfs every inch of my decisions Choices come with several anecdotes and revisions Ringing out these wet cardboard puzzle pieces Suckered into thinking that the quality increases Release the suspects out of the allegory Clinging onto something stable in my territory My priorities consume my intentions like savages The bleeding never stops though, running through bandages Accepted the damage, sign off on the dishonesty Taking ownership. I added an apostrophe
8.
Smash cut straight into the Mayor Wertz Gynamasium I've said a decent amount of words, but Don't worry I saved you some. Make your way up here, I saved you a seat in the front row Safe to say that this is one of many to come manifestos This is my own completely accurate artist depiction My prediction will come true, There will be no contradictions Check the plaque on the wall I'm a certified Curse sayer I'm the Schichttorte of rap, so many layers Marvel at me spitting all these relentless sentences Yeah my jawline is perfect, thanks for mentioning Here we are Adventuring Searching for the glyphs While other rappers are surviving working double shifts These individuals are spotty like 101 dalmations Do some aggregation, I'll be your inspiration Hear me loud and clear like velcro on sneakers Words that travel the halls principal on the loudspeaker Got the language that heats you up then shock you, Blanche Being in my presence is me extending the olive branch Almost always I'm going to be fashionably late So pile on my seconds right on top of the first plate Anything goal I'm after, going to be always in that hot pursuit Landing safely with a bottle of champagne and a parachute No dates with destiny, we've been married since I was conceived Only in my 20s and look at what I've achieved Developed some pet peeves when it comes to flocks of geese Whenever I enter a room, I immediately become the centerpiece Never decreasing my value, keeping up with the crunches But I'll always ask where the best lunch is Now maybe in some ways your correct with your assumptions Being too humble on the mic is my only major malfunction We're done here, Leave a review, but only praise in your description I hope I didn't fill you disappointment like a monthly box subscription
9.
I think I'm gonna die, my girl's into True Crime! She's gonna get away, won't find my body anyway Saying goodbye cause it's just a matter of time! I think I'm gonna die my girls into true Crime! I got a girl, and she's got a thing for true crime Serial Killers, cults, and re-runs of Dateline Her bookshelves filled with Ann Rule Can list the BTK Killer's favorite Tools Getting yogurt? Not without hearing about Austin Reciting every victim of the strangler from Boston Mention Jon Benet Ramsey? Proceed with caution You'll be hearing about theories until exhaustion Correlations between head trauma and homicides Always pass on the punch thinking it's got cyanide Deciding which is your favorite Eriksson twin She knows all the ways Ed Gein used the skin What's Children of God? She's gonna fill me in Just like all the poisoning of Amy Archer Gilligan Breaking down Ted Bundy's bipolar disorder But she says I'm her favorite murder! I think I'm gonna die, my girl's into True Crime! She's gonna get away, won't find my body anyway Saying goodbye cause it's just a matter of time! I think I'm gonna die my girls into true Crime! So many true crime shows in her Netflix queue She doesn't know which type of crime to choose Cold Case Files of missing boys and girls One more autopsy photo I'm going to hurl Walls covered with red string connecting evidence She's fascinated by Gary Ridgway's arrogance I promised her I'd never join Heaven's Gate Or I'll end up like Amanda Knox's Roommate Won't let me grow a mustache like H.H. Holmes Digging in the backyard to find victim's bones Reading manifestos over newspapers daily Practicing self-defense for our own safety! Date night begins with a polygraph test Outsiders say she's completely obsessed But it's all in good fun, hobbies are essential But When my time comes, she promises to be gentle
10.
There will come a time you'll meet an individual That does or says something utterly inexplicable A kind of criminal on a much more emotional scale Rocks you to your core no matter how many times you exhale Watching all of this littering makes your eyes roll Having to Walk away trying to do some damage control No blinker is used, disregarding etiquette Screwing with your everyday normal temperament It might be genetic, or even how they were raised Your kids aren't crying? Man they should be totally praised During the movie you see a light from a phone Fighting couples in public sounds just like a war zone Yelling at a waiter or waitress is devastating Like when someone is late and keeps you waiting Assholes are everywhere and I can't see the attraction One thing is for sure: All they want is our reactions Hey Asshole, It's a simple concept Hey Asshole, Clearly you're inept Hey Asshole, And you lack any depth Hey Asshole, So show some respect Hey Asshole, Don't make us upset Hey Asshole, It's a lot to digest Hey Asshole, But I have one request Hey Asshole, Don't be an Asshole Look at all those grocery carts in parking spaces People who take up both sides of staircases Ethics and morals go straight out the window Using derogatory terms like slut, whore or bimbo Taking a walk and stepping on someone's chewed gum No need to brag away about all of your income Strike Actually out of your entire vocabulary Talking with your mouth full is unnecessary Why don't you ever hold the door open for others And when was the last time you called your dear mother? I shudder whenever someone cuts anyone in line Or uses the term, I heard it through the grapevine There are asinine People out there who lack compassion And will make fun of you for your hobbies and passions Not helping someone up after just got done tripping But the worst thing of all? No free shipping. Hey Asshole, It's a simple concept Hey Asshole, Clearly you're inept Hey Asshole, And you lack any depth Hey Asshole, So show some respect Hey Asshole, Don't make us upset Hey Asshole, It's a lot to digest Hey Asshole, But I have one request Hey Asshole, Don't be an Asshole
11.
Dad Life 03:04
Hey there where my dad's at? Listen up, where my dad's at? Come on where my dad's at? Tell me where my dad's at? Dad life, are you all about it? Are you dad enough? You know what? highly doubt it! If youre about that life, you gotta show it Dad life is great, You better know it But, this rad dad lifestyle isnt for everybody To Learn all about this life, you sit down better study As you can see,Dad life obviously has its many perks Although You can't be Dad life if you're a jerk But if you want in, then I can show you the way dad life is all about that follow through day by day Dad life is not choice, but a lifestyle Wanna know more, be quiet and listen to Kryle Windbreakers cause I'm all about that dad life History Channel cause I'm all about that dad life Golf Trips cause I'm all about that dad life Jean Shorts cause I'm all about that dad life Can you feel this dad life deep withinin your soul? Well how do you feel about the 80s and rock and roll? Now dig out the box with all your old band tees Better ut your jorts on so you can feel the breeze Your socks and sandals combo will be spectacular Guess what? Dad jokes will be your new vernacular You have a grill and you just got some primo steaks You want them medium well? That's a piece of cake. Do you love shows about world war 2 Grab a chair you got a long weekend ahead of you Take a nap while watching the PGA tour Got errands to run though? Wait What for! If you feel like you want this life, go ahead Just don't let this go straight to your head Tell everyone you know, family and friends That dad life is simply the best and never ends Goatees cause I'm all about that dad life 401K Cause I'm all about that dad life James Bond movies Cause I'm all about that dad life Visors Cause I'm all about that dad life
12.
Good Parents, Good Job, Good situation Thesis read and now I require good sedation Broken hinges turn into constant stagnation Fog of desperation leads to lack of destination Several stipulations, Nothing is ever effortless Decisions at the end expected to be treacherous Trying different routes/ideas, doubtfully sensible Building a fortress that's beyond defensible All this interior is nothing more than filler Halt monochromatic relapse feels so familiar Altered state of understanding results poorly Holding onto a concept of what I hold dearly Too early to tell if this is worth the energy Finding alternate ways, getting stopped cleverly Charismatic dangling carrots seem like distant isles Pragmatic ideals make a lesser Kyle. It's inside you, but it is inside me? Speaking like savages, losing steam No idea where I am or who I should be My interests evolve into faulty floorboards Cracks become roadblocks, areas unexplored Ignoring swift strikes to the ego's abdomen Trouble finding what it means to be a better human Trusting in myself that I can be a better human Comparing cliche talking points without reserve Knowing full well what I want is not what I deserve The nerve engulfs every inch of my decisions Choices come with several anecdotes and revisions Ringing out these wet cardboard puzzle pieces Suckered into thinking that the quality increases Release the suspects out of the allegory Clinging onto something stable in my territory My priorities consume my intentions like savages The bleeding never stops though, running through bandages Accepted the damage, sign off on the dishonesty Taking ownership. I added an apostrophe
13.
Forget your bills, forget your job Forget your debt, forget your flaws It's a 20 something party It's a 20 something Party forget your past, forget your goals forget your carbs, forget your woes It's a 20 something party It's a 20 something Party Had a long week now I'm getting psyched The Guests are here on time, party tonight! Hope they're hungry, I put out a nice spread Gotta make sure my friends are well fed Crock Pots got that buffalo chicken dip Salsa ready for all of those tortilla chips Friends bring their own beer and snacks Loading up the cooler with the craft beer six packs 90s playlist keeps this party alive DDs on hand no ones gonna drink and drive No talking about your boss, just drunk Jenga This is a fantastic fiesta Everyone putting bottles in the recycling When we do shots our bonds are tightening Sharing science, spirits, stories Hope I can still do this when I'm hitting forty Forget your bills, forget your job Forget your debt, forget your flaws It's a 20 something party It's a 20 something Party forget your past, forget your goals forget your carbs, forget your woes It's a 20 something party It's a 20 something Party All of the guests start to part ways They have errands to finish on Sunday Ate a lot of pizza, dumb carbohydrates I know I'm going to regret this mistake Got guests that are too drunk to drive Blankets, pillows, and water to survive Get into my bed and under the covers It's gonna take the whole day just to recover Woke up regretting all of my decisions like when I took shots got double vision Gonna nurse this hangover Take several showers, keep my composure Last night we forgot about our troubles For just a few hours forgot about our struggles We should do this every weekend I know some friends that would love to attend

about

Try Harder is the debut album from rapper Mayor Wertz.

credits

released July 29, 2018

Lyrics
Kyle Wertz

Beats
DJ RoboRob Tracks 1 2 6 9 10 11 12 13
p.stoops Tracks 4 5 7 8
Roboi85 Track 3

Recording
Joe LaBianca Tracks 6 9 11
DJ RoboRob 1 2 3 4 5 7 8 10 11 12 13

Mix: DJ RoboRob

Master: DJ RoboRob

Album Art: Dan Liuzzi

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all rights reserved

tags

about

Mayor Wertz Lakewood, Ohio

Step into the world of Mayor Wertz, the self-proclaimed internet Step-Dad and comedy rapper hailing from Cleveland, Ohio. With infectious energy and wit, Mayor Wertz has a unique ability to combine humor and storytelling in a way that sets him apart.

Known for his engaging crowd participation, he doesn't just perform for the audience; he brings them along for the ride.
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