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Survivor Bias

from Try Harder by Mayor Wertz

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lyrics

Welcome one and all to this orientation
There will be many explanations during this presentation
Future reference you can call me Mayor Wertz
and by the end of this, I'll be the center of your universe

Start off by saying, you've come to the right place
Nothing for me to hide, so I'll cut to the chase
When you don't like me, you don't know what you're missing
Keeping an eye on you, I'm the next snake Pliskin

Listen, calculated risk, but I'm bad at math
That feeling when you learn you're getting time and a half
My words highly choreographed, better than gene kelly
With ideas opposite of Machiavelli

Like petting the belly of a cat, I'm a gamble
At best, these rhymes sound like a put together ramble
Scrambling to find someone to be my competition
Just scrolling by them Terms and conditions

I'm your new Mayor YEAH I'm your new Mayor
Whether you like it or not I'm your new Mayor
I'm your new Mayor YEAH I'm your new Mayor
Just so you're aware, I'm not going anywhere

Tasting so good like a free appetizer
Knowing where to put these thoughts, expert organizer
The Mayor will change lives of many with none the wiser
Not covering up something like a well-placed visor

Gaining immortality and then shed my mortal coil
I'm tender like a perfectly cooked London broil
No snake oil here, only all my great qualities
Follow me on a journey of all my philosophies

If the prophecies are correct, There's a lot to expect
When it comes to the man who's often circumspect
With explosion sound effects for his personality
He uses that stud muffin charm as a formality

Rationality behind it? No way to justify
But the Mayor is a 3AM pizza personified
If you don't understand this, then that's your burden
Just don't beat yourself up over it, Tyler Durden

I'm your new Mayor YEAH I'm your new Mayor
Whether you like it or not I'm your new Mayor
I'm your new Mayor YEAH I'm your new Mayor
Just so your aware I'm not going anywhere

Like Drunk Amazon Shopping, I'm quite the surprise
It makes sense, no need to overanalyze
Just recognize that there is no sense of malice
The Mayor is a sight to behold, Aurora Borealis

I'm trying to balance all my life's aspirations
Like taking a hostage, there are no negotiations
Becoming my friend would be a force majeure
Make sure you get the name right though Hors-d'oeuvres

A real raconteur with the nomenclature
Using a microphone to say words he wrote on paper
Only the bravest of audiences will be rewarded
Otherwise, my plans for you will have been thwarted

Everything turned out well no need for revisions
This track steered you into the correct decision
Now I hope this clears up any and all confusion
Once again I'm Mayor Wertz, and that was my conclusion!

credits

from Try Harder, released July 29, 2018
Lyrics: Kyle Wertz
Beat: DJ RoboRob
Recorded: DJ RoboRob
Mixed & Master: DJ RoboRob

license

all rights reserved

tags

about

Mayor Wertz Lakewood, Ohio

Step into the world of Mayor Wertz, the self-proclaimed internet Step-Dad and comedy rapper hailing from Cleveland, Ohio. With infectious energy and wit, Mayor Wertz has a unique ability to combine humor and storytelling in a way that sets him apart.

Known for his engaging crowd participation, he doesn't just perform for the audience; he brings them along for the ride.
... more

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